Think About the Love Inside the Strength of Heart

so many pop-ups; so many tears. connected to the internet and there were right away 12 waiting for me. twelve stubborn pop-ups that when you go to close them they "donngg" at you and don't close. oiy. so this morning i was determined to test my patients. i listened to a little bit of maroon5, damien rice, sugarcult, and dashboard while i logged on and waited for the pop-ups to come. and holy bible! they did. i at first gave them time to load and then went away to trying to close them. once i got one closed another one would open. but now, at last!, i was able to close them all and they have yet to returned. today is a good day to blog, me having patients.

people say it takes strength to speak up. but i think it takes as much strength to hold it all in. of my family of seven i was the extreme shy kid. every picture taken whenever we went to the House of Worship i was pouting. (oh no the pop-ups are back--full force)i guess my pouting was because of many reasons. i mean i didn't like dressing up and i absolutely hated sitting in the way back of the pickle (our old green station wagon) where it got all stuffy and i would get sick from riding backwards. one of the reasons was most definitely not because of the location. i loved the street before the House of Worship because it was stone and made the car bounce and then seeing the it as we approach was always once of my favorite parts or the car ride. plus i liked all the houses in the area. i also loved going inside downstairs where all the big pictures of the culturally diverse people were. oh and of course i loved going to the book store. but there was a downside of going to the House of Worship for me and that was the high risk of running into people that my parents knew. they would always try to talk to me and then when i would hide in my moms shoulders they would come around and put their faces right up to mine. that's when i would cry so that my mom would hold me tighter and stroke my hair and hopefully walk away from the person that was scaring me at the moment.

back to doing nothing. and feeling used. waiting all summer to start work and they only use me for a week to use my mad organizing skills to set up their back room and freezer. oh that freezer. two days straight in that 34 degrees (on a good day) freezer with all the ice cream. none of which i got for free, is it just me or is that unfair? well much to my delight amia carmen came up for her one month birthday!! but much to my dismay i cannot hold her for those two days of freezer labeling gave me a cold. curse this stupid freezer cold.

katie: "hi anya. umm...have you ever sprained something?"
anya: "you mean recently or in my lifetime?"
katie: "no...like in your lifetime."

the pop-ups got so crazy that i am now on the ibook. between the switch of bad computer to good computer i watched 13 going on 30 (one off my list), found my favorite jacket ever, and now am going to watch the olympics. yeah! olympics.



but you're chasin' the ghost of a good thing
haunting yourself as the real thing
it's getting away from you again
while you're chasin' ghosts

just bend the pieces til they fit
like they were made for it
but they weren't meant for this
no they weren't meant for this