Thursday, January 18, 2007

oh baby sparrow, maybe it's too late

there is a big bay window across the street. on the weekends and on the rare 11 o'clock occassions a yellow lab basks in the sunlight while effortlessly chewing on it's bone.

i wish it were sunday morning, i wish i were that dog.

classes started a week ago and i'm finding it hard to care about them. "care" in the way of having high anxiety about them. for example, my first photo project is due tomorrow and i'm finding it hard to see if my pictures are all clear and in focus. but i don't seem to mind if they turn out badly, if the lighting is way off, if i'll get them developed in time, or if i loaded the film right. i have a strong attitude of "it's okay, it's just a learning experiance" so i'm relaxed and enjoying messing around. how will i learn if i don't make mistakes? (oh lord, i hope this mentality sticks around)

i find myself more and more interested in industrial design. i'm enrolled in the intro. class and it's starting off slowly and holding me in great anticipation. i hate moments of anticipation, they make me feel uneasy and nauseated. "TELL ME, i just want to know! are you the career for me?!" i've started to read about it daily and i just want more. but like each time i start to fall in love, i'm terrified of the disappointment that the anticipation can bring. so. very. scared.

Monday, January 15, 2007

a birthday made.

it might not have snowed for or by my birthday, but all was forgiven and forgotten when i got a birthday e-mail from my merkels and this picture was tagged to it. i miss my kids so much.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

so true.

come monday i will be 21. after this last week spent in columbus, i feel older and...stiller? i feel like i'm going to own this age i'm turning. up until this last week i've been stuck at 18.5 (a toss between the ages 18 and 19). i wonder if that means anything. mmahh, probably not.

what made me feel old after columbus? a new layer of understanding in the area of tests. tests not only allow one to grow, but also show you how much you have grown...or in my case that i have grown at all. though the test i was granted could be considered extremely tiny for most, it was huge for me. and to learn that i am growing, well, booyah-hooray! i have the capacity to grow!

p.s. click on the title of this post