Monday, July 31, 2006

Current state of being; note not current state of doing.

Here comes the rain storm. You can smell, see, and feel it coming. The barometric meter changes and you can feel the ache of every past injury in your bones. You prepare for its coming the best you can, knowing it’s a big one. You bring in the dried towels and anything else that need to be brought in. And then you wait; excited about the change that is about to take place. It starts out slowly with light gusts of wind and then starts to pick up. You reach out your hand from under the protected stoop from which you sit, close your eyes, and let yourself feel each drop. At first it tingles and you feel as though your hand has fallen asleep and is now waking up. You can’t help but take a small step out and let your whole body feel the rain. In a way, you come to realize, each drop that hits you allows you to feel your place in the world; you feel small and powerless. But then the rain starts to pour down and you can no longer feel the tingles of each drop; instead you become so soaked (with the exception of a few fat drops hitting your face) you are no longer aware of the rain. You think back to your place in the world and this time you feel unconstrained.

The rain, it eventually stops and you are left there in a state of bewilderment. Ten minutes ago you were completely dry and now by taking that step and standing in rain you are wet. In that short period of time you have changed and you are worried; what is it going to be like when you step back into the house?

Okay, so that was a bit weak and lame, but I’m exhausted. Not only am I exhausted, I am hot and the hotness is counteracting upon my exhaustion. Grrr…(and I grr in the utmost frustration). But anyways…After being gone for six weeks, in homes where there was endless support and one common goal, I’m a bit scared and overwhelmingly excited to be stepping back into the world.

By the way, how is the world oh people, that have been reading this? (that’s me asking you how you are…I miss you people). a little side story here: my friend geet-smeet (named changed for protection) says I need to stop making friends, because born into a family of seven…how is it that I have time for friends? Then while I was complaining about missing people she said, “see! you need to stop meeting people and making friends, you are just going to end up missing people all the time.” so, true. I miss and I miss. in fact I kinda want to get married just so everyone I miss can be all together.

More on Ruhi/my summer later… and by later I mean when I have time (mahh).


Holy Spirit rain down on me

I want to feel Your presence around me

Shower upon me Thy confirmations

Through the Spirit of Faith bring regenerations

Friday, July 07, 2006

oh, i do believe in all the things you see, what comes is better than what came before.

you learn something new everyday and on the fourth of july i learned this:

spontaneous dance party at the smits leaves the spirit ablaze and the soul soaring.

I listen to the wind
The wind of my soul
Where I'll end up, well I think
Only God really knows