Tuesday, May 31, 2005

40 bluesclues later...

love is funny because right when you think that you couldn't love someone more, you are surprised to reailize that you can and that you do. you know it's real love when you wake up in the morning after being with someone for four days straight (twenty hours...or 40 bluesclues...of which that were spent in the car) and you realize you miss them.

yes, my friends, i'm talking about the merkels. in other words, the past four days were great (minus being in nashville...where there are three things listed under the family activity page, two of which were BARS. oh nashville, how i don't miss you.) xcyden and i bonded so much (well, as much as one can bond with xcyden without being her dad...or her mom) that now when i refer to my children she is no longer included as the one that hates me. she puts on a hard exteiror that xcyden, but once i heard her say my name and made her smile, i knew she liked me (and by like, i mean she doesn't mind me). i'm so in love with this family i can't even explain it, for me there's been nothing like it. just know that automatically my heart smiles when i think of the merkels.

the first (of MANY) laughs this trip was at 6:30 a.m. on I-80 when katana asked me to play "highway in the hedges," mady and i burst out laughing thinking the song was called "highway in the heaven." saying, "where did she get hedges out of heaven? hahahahaha." while listening to the song we realized katana was right, which only made us laugh even harder.


In the Highways, in the hedges
I'll be somewhere working for my Lord.

If he calls me, I will answer
I'll be somewhere working for my Lord.

and if you ever go on a car trip with these kids you WILL know these songs

don't cross the street in the middle, in the middle, in the middle, in the middle, in the middle, in the middle of the block
don't cross the street in the middle, in the middle, in the middle, in the middle, in the middle, in the middle of the block

use your eyes to look up
use your ears to hear

and a personal favorite (while holding xcyden, because if you start it she'll finish it for you)...

D-A-D-D-Y needs C-O-F-F-E-E
M-O-M-M-Y needs C-O-F-F-E-E

the re-mix goes like this:

A-N-Y-Y-A need C-O-F-F-E-E

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Sound Bite

i just got off the phone with katie. this is how the conversation went:

me: hello?

katie (yelling into the phone): ANYA! hi!

me (starting to laugh): whoa, there are a lot of kids in that background. where are you?

katie: on a bus going to the zoo!

me (laughing): oh, that must be fun.

katie: can i call you back when we get there? it's kinda hard to hear right now.

me: okay. wait! can i just ask you one quick (a roar of excitement from the kids erupts in the background) question? what was that?

katie: we just passed the zoo.

me (laughing harder): yeah, why don't you call me back later.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

those dang fruit cups!

while in the fridge at p-nea (getting some fruit cups) a jerkface thought it would be funny to turn off the lights again for the fourth time in. a. row. while i was in there in the cold, alone. while going to punch a jerkface in the face (arm) with fruit cup in hand, fruit cup explodes up into the air and all over the floor before my fist ever makes contact with a dead-face (dead-arm) deserving jerkface. really, my life would be so much easier if p-nea stopped selling them.


a happy, happy birthday to mi masha!

-----still enjoying the chicks------

I took my love and I took it down
Climbed a mountain then I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Saturday, May 21, 2005

a cause for celebration

oh happy happy day!

when i woke up i was debating if i should get a weekend train pass and come home for my two days off in a row from work (and take my laundry with me). i woke up to a messy room and a deep desire to take a bike ride along the lake. i decided i better stay in evanston this weekend. then suzanne and husayn came back from there lunch date and right away started packing to go to batavia. it was perfect timing because i had already put my laundry in and this way i could actually save some money and dry them at home in batavia (i usually let my clothes air dry, i mean a dollar per load to dry 'em? please honey, i'm cheap).

my dear sister sara finally cleaned out her car. and does one know what she found in between the two front seats? none other than the dixie chicks cd that has been "missing*" since she dropped me off at the airport last SPRING! (*i put "missing" because i knew it was in her car, just didn't know where)

on our way to dsw i got to listen to my favorite dixie chicks cd (it's been over a year since i last heard it) and at dsw i found a pair of shoes i've had my eye on/looking for on SALE!

the day has been good.

p.s. amia is starting to take steps like crazy!


You don't like the sound of the truth
Coming from my mouth
You say that I lack the proof
Well baby that might be so
Tell me what's wrong with having a little faith
In what you're feeling in your heart
Why must we be so afraid
And always so far apart

Swing me way down south
Sing me something brave from your mouth
And I'll bring you
Pearls of water on my hips
And the love in my lips
All the love from my lips

she led a full life.

she led a full stomach.

most people go home (as in their parent's house) and do their laundry. i come home and eat. i don't know what it is all about. but the first thing i do is open and go through the fridge and cabinets looking for tasty treats (not just un-healthy ones, i get excited seeing red apples and bananas as much as i do when i see chocolate covered chewy sunbelt granola bars and waffles). it doesn't matter if i'm hungry or not prior to coming home, the second i step into the house i get hungry (or maybe more like i want to eat). when i came back in decemeber for three weeks, i ate three weeks straight. when i come home on the rare days off from work, i just eat (i am eating an apple as i type). i wonder why that is. perhaps it's all the physiological stuff of growing up with seven people and "if you see something you want you better eat it quick or else someone else will" automatically kicks in.

...or not.

sara just called.
she didn't know i was home.
"my sister?!" she exclaimed.
"no," i said.
"yes," she said.

"you don't know me!"
and i hung up the phone.


something in those eyes
in those eyes of yours

a hidden secret
i was suppose to find

buried deep, deep in those eyes
those eyes of yours

lies the truth i want to find

Friday, May 20, 2005

oh, how i miss

i'm at that point where i'm starting to miss having friends around. people to hang out with, people to talk to and people to call up when you have a few hours to do something. the only time i get to see my friends now is if i get lucky enough to get two days off in a row from work. so you might be thinking, "wait a second, aren't you in chicago now where there are a bunch of cool people are?" yeah, a bunch of neat people i don't know. and there in lies the problem. anxiety hits an all time high when i think about going to events where i don't know people and i don't have that security blanket of a friend. you should have seen liza and i at feast the other night. there we were during refreshments saying, "where is suzanne and husayn?" we were like two lost children. it's so frustrating in need of that sort of comfort. why can't i just be outgoing, why can't i be able to go somewhere new where i don't know anyone and be excited about it? i think just overall i miss the familiarity and comfort of my friends. they are after all people i know and like, and well, i miss 'em.

anywho, talking about people i know and like, the merkels! stopped by p-nea yesterday. i must say that was one of the best surprises ever. a week and we will be off to nashville. yikes, i gotta start packing (and by packing i mean buying some swedish fish).

Friday, May 13, 2005

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.

this morning i woke up at 6:50 a.m. and started crying. the first words out of my mouth were: i hate panera*. then i started crying again. i decided to stop crying (for the moment at least) and instead put all my energy in resetting my alarm clock to go off at 7:15 instead of 7:00. when my alarm went off i started crying (again) and while stumbling to the shower i grumbled, "i *explicit*-ing hate panera." i wasn't in the best of moods this morning. which i'm sure had to do with waking up not to hear a baby crawling so fast towards my room all i hear is THUD. THUDTHUDTHUD. THUD. and then a squeal of pure delight once reaching the curtain divider or a baby at the foot of my bed biting my toe. oh amia, i missed you this morning.

anyways, if my knees could talk right now they would be saying, "ANYA WE LOVE YOU!" for the two mile run i just gave them. ever since last tuesday, my knees whenever i walked would burn and would only stop burning when i pulled then up higher in a running motion. and boy was it a good run. rusty, but it was exactly what my body needed. i even ran into good ol' jay (riding his golf cart) on my way onto the track. i miss visiting jay in the training room. jay was the only person able to get my arm back attached to my body the way it was suppose to be without medication and for that my deepest wish is to have small pocket size jay i can just carry with me everywhere i go.

*i don't really hate panera, but i woke up in a bad mood and i had to hate something. panera just happened to be the first thing on my mind and the thing i was waking up for.


Pick me up love
Pick me up love, everyday

Pick me up, oh, from the bottom
Up to the top, love, everyday
Pay no mind to taunts or advances
I take my chances on everyday

Left to right
Up and down, love
I push up love, love everyday
Jump in the mud, oh
Get your hands dirty with
Love it up on everyday

All you need is
All you want is
All you need is love.
All you need is
What you want is
All you need is love.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

On the other hand, we have different fingers.

so there i was closing, with two people helping me and still did not get out until 11:30. i can.not. sweep for the life of me. even if i go really slow. i sweep, mop, and then have to sweep again due to the horrible sweeping i did to start with. i now see sweeping as an amazing talent. and for those who do it fast, it's an art form.

keep in mind the following stories i share because of there rare-ity, not because this is how the majority of customers are. in fact, the vast majority of customers are extremely nice, understanding and patient. for example, the elder irish couple that came in two days ago. now they were awesome, because though it took me a while to decipher exactly what they actually wanted, they still had a sense of humor about it (and oh! how i loved their accents). but then there are the others. the ones i pretend to be having a "worst day of my life" days, where every. little. thing. that could go wrong (or that could possibly mess up), does go wrong (or gets royally messed up).

there are some strange people that you meet working in food service or at least some strange sides of people that you meet. the first time i ran into someone's strange side was when i wrongly informed someone that their meal came with chips (she ordered a half sandwich, half salad so instead of chips she got bread). she comes back to me very upset, "you told me that it comes with chips, but down there he says it doesn't. now which one is it?! does it come with chips or NOT*!?" (*this is when she threw down her buzzer and scared the living crap out of me). still shaken from her throwing the buzzer i stuttered, "if he said it doesn't then i must have gotten it wrong. i'm sorry i just started--" she interrupts, "so it doesn't come with chips. then let me buy some chips!" sean (working next to me) runs to get her free chips but first tries to ask her if she wants baked chips or regular krunchiers. she glares at him and says, "excuse me, she is helping me." i wanted to give her her chips for free, but was too afraid to say anything or try to explain anything to her i just took her money and apologized (which didn't do much, she was still pretty upset about her chips).

some people are passionate about their chips, some are passionate about coca-cola. one time a lady asked for diet coke and i said yeah sure we have it. she came back three minutes later, "i was told you guys had diet coke, but you only have diet pepsi!" when we explained to her (and apologized) that we only carry pepsi products she informed us that, "no one i know likes pepsi. everyone hates it!" thankfully (aside from her initial attitude) she wasn't all that upset, unlike the guy that came in last night.

now this guy, i have no idea what was going through his head just that he really must have wanted a cobblestone or something. peering through the display glass at the pastries he said disappointingly and annoyed, "this is the second night in a row that you didn't have cobblestones left." i tell him, "oh, they just sold out an hour ago. you just missed them." he grumbles angrily, "we then. you guys should make some more." i then make the mistake of saying, "yeah, i'm sure we would but then if we might sell any them and would have to throw them all out." then he says sort of to me, sort of to himself, "oh so i guess it's just, fuck me!" shocked at what he just said, i don't know what to do or say and deside (trying to make light of the situation)to say, "it's nothing personal." this (apparently) was the wrong thing to say, because he then gets very angry at me and yells, "it's personal to me!" this, i had no idea what to say or do. the other guy in line piped in and told him to calm down, "she just works here, man" and when the cobblestone man tried to defend himself the other guy told him he was over-reacting and to calm down again. he then grudgingly ordered a coffee cake and told me to tell my manager, "there has been a complaint."

then there are some people who don't understand lines. like a lady last week, who flagged me down while i was running to the bakery to grab a cookie for another customer who was waiting in another line during the mid-afternoon rush. "hello! i just want a coffee." uhh--okay. so i quickly grabbed her a cup for coffee and told her that lucy would ring her up in second. she took the cup and informed me annoyed, "and there are a lot of people behind me, too." uhh--it's called a line. she then left the line filled the coffee cup and then left the store, without paying.

people (who are in the middle of a "worst day of my life" day) act in such silly ways, say some of the craziest things and are out-raged by the littlest occurrences.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Don't rush me sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. You got money?

so maybe i over-reacted to placement testing. i say "maybe" due to the fact i don't know the results. i had time to read the english parts twice and it seemed to be easy and obvious questions. i guess the things i learned on that dr. lebin 300 question mid-term on proper writing stuck with me. or at least maybe it did, we still don't know for sure. it was just so darn easy. (i really hope i don't end up getting placed in a non-credit giving english after saying that. though, i would not in any way be surprised.) the writing section didn't go so well, i ran out of time and due to time anxiety couldn't make valid deep thoughts. yes, my essay ended with: My friend is even able to talk to friends in Estonia everyday. does that give you an idea of how choppy and messed up it was? (it, by the way, was an essay on if the internet has had a negative or positive experience. i, of course, was supporting the obvious side. the internet? positive? HA!) yeah, if i'm not given more than enough time to write, i write crap. hence i tend to finish papers that are due for class at least two days ahead of time. i had enough time for the math section that i was able to finish and then check the vast majority of the questions and correct them.

wow. this post suckss! (with an extra 's' apparently). it is one o' seven. would you expect something interesting at this time in the morning? if you just said yes, then you are just plain wrong. posting that occurs this early (at least for onionlee) is more based on the fact that "i can blog! (because i posess that kind of power)" and less based on "i have something to blog about!"

so i was thinking. i have so much growing to do. so much to do and so much to experience. i'm kinda excited (much more in an unpatient way, than in a mature patienct way). i mean, it's always fun to look back at how you used to be or what you used to do and have yourself a good chuckle. "ehmehmhaha, i was such an idiot."