When you never hear it, then on top of that you barely feel it...love gets lost.

the following isn't funny, nor is it suppose to be.

i feel like a greasy schmuck, who's in great need of a "refreshed" spirit. almost as much as this sememster killed me, this transition from trying to do everything all at once all the time to having absolutely nothing to do, is almost too much for me to handle. besides the sopranos (only for half an episode), nothing caughtes my interest. no, it's more like nothing holds my interest. forms of entertainment feel empty (minus ice skating and sledding), i feel restless and impatient. i can't figure out all of what is involved with this unexpected switch in mood or more importantly (well, maybe not more importantly) what's going to pull me out of it.

"Now, and for a long time, the best way she knew to settle her mind was to run. Sometimes she felt that the meditative state of the long, quiet miles helped her think. Sometimes she felt that the pure exhaustion helped her not think. Sometimes she beileved that she was running toward some sort of resolution, and other times she knew she was just plain running away. Still, it was what she did."

too bad i live in chicago, and it's currently negavtive degrees out (without the windchill).


----------------------------

I am up again against
The skin of my guitar
In the window of my life
Looking out through the bars
I am sounding out the silence
Avoiding all the words
I'm afraid i've said too much
I'm afraid of who has heard me

I am up again against
The skin of my guitar
In the window of my life
Looking out through the bars
I am sounding out the silence
Avoiding all the words
I'm afraid i can never say enough
I'm afraid no one has heard me