the cracks of the in-between

and here we stand looking down at the cracks of the in-between. hesitant to fall because i think i've been here with you once before. looking down i only see depths of my sorrow, a life i think i'm suppose to live. if only, catches me once again throws me to remember. there should be no if only(s), there should just be our hands naturally clasped together.

Fibers Final

Four years ago I started taking nightly walks to the beach of Lake Michigan. The hidden corner where I sat upon the rocks was my sanctuary. It was a place in a busy city where I could drain out other’s voices and noises from my head, and simply listen to the waves gently crashing onto the shore. Though I was unaware of the importance of those walks at the time, I now know that they were the beginning of me actively engaging with my spiritual existence. I was awakening to my spiritual journey. By being and purely following what called me, I was lead to a place I always wanted to be, a place where I felt and was touched by my spirit.

Even though how one feels, reacts and connects within an environment is unique to every individual, the goal of my installation is to create a space that is open, welcoming and comfortable for all. I want my installation to be the type of sanctuary Lake Michigan was for me. I want it to be a space where one can connect with their spirit and remember who they are. To achieve this type of atmosphere, where one’s spirit is compelled to soar, I assembled my installation with interactive components. There are sticks that are placed into found holes in the brick wall, a wall of books, a removable crocheted blanket and a blank canvas with paints. All of these things are waiting to be touched, moved and manifested by anyone who reaches out to interact with them. For my fabric I used silk gauze to represent the spiritual world, cobweb felting to represent the transition between the physical and spiritual worlds, crocheted yarn, linen and wood to represent the physical world. Drawn to the celestial and calming light during the transitional hours of the day my color palette was developed. Inspiration for the installation as a whole comes from my deep desire to serve all of humanity.


*all fabric was hand dyed, crocheted and cobweb felted by me! skills be a growing!

working on

i had no idea you could build a website with photoshop...i love when my photoshop skills grow. i heart photoshop for evers. screen shot of what i'm working on:

i like

i like this piece of victoria woon.

it's that time of life again...

it is that time of life again, where growth has come in unexpected ways and relationships end. a shift occurs whenever a relationship ends, whenever i finally let go, and i see all my other relationships in a new way. clarity.



what is sad is that when i heard this song playing overhead at primary (the local art shop) i thought for sure the lines were "just give me a reason to love you/just give me a reason to be abused". hello subconscious! what a horrible mix up to have in my head. love equating to being open/accepting myself to be abused, or thinking that if only someone loved me it is worth putting up with the abuse. is abuse a natural risk of loving, or is abuse the natural risk of forgetting one's worth? i am going to go with the later on this one. abuse is the opposite of love, it is forgetting what love is.

so here i am breaking that pattern, stopping the substitute of abuse for love. my heart can't handle it, it can not give any more without getting anything back. i will not accept anything less than equality. so you got problems, you got issues? deal with them, talk to someone. do it. stop sitting in your puddle of shame, strive for something more. strive to grow. take the steps to get there. it's not like one day they will magically disapear, so step up shake them out now.


i don't want to hold on any more, i want to say goodbye.


it seems fitting that after all this i find out anis mohjani will be performing not five minutes from me on this upcoming sunday. how i love it when i return to accepting the gifts the universe can't wait to give me. upon landing in savannah i told myself this is where i will see anis perform and this is where i will meet maya angelou. one down, one to go. come one savannah, show me what else you got!




if these blogs are just too much sappy, you might want to stop following for a couple of months, i be processing some major stuff...you've been warned.

writings on the bedroom wall

after conversation, after conversations a long lost phone call blew the dust from my mind. clarity came stumbling forward. it should not be this hard to love me. cincinnati, brooklyn, new york. hindu, christian, muslim, baha'i. no matter your background, no matter your beliefs it should not be this hard to love me.


these are just a few of things i don't understand.

(winter 04)

"Let deeds not words be your adorning."

this clip paired with the post title crack me up, and have been paired together in my head since i woke up.

randomness of randomness

for the first time i have spring break at the same time as South by Southwest. for the first time i looked up the prices. so close, yet so far.


reunion is life, separation is death



i can't seem to read the signs as clearly as i used to. i recognize but i can't seem to make the connection again and again. maybe it's time just to see and gather and the connection will come later? i hope i'm not being lazy.



time has escaped my mind. actually my whole understand of the universe has been wiped clean. i don't know where that leaves me, but i know it's the best place i've yet to come to.



The most important thing for my heart is to hear and see you guys are finding your way and your standards are high and your Faith is strengthening.......
Love to you.
Ma Ma


it will all come together, it will all come together...that's the whisper that i pretend i am hearing right now.


one day will you be around long enough to hold my hand? one day will we know the answer?


random-ra-ra-randomness, sing it with me.