Tuesday, February 17, 2009

a tantrum un-thrown

the words rattle around my head. this is just a moment, it will soon pass...but these words have become my finger prints. (you know the ones that glue me to the edge i've been dangling on for months) and though i am grateful that the grip God gave me is super and powerful, in this moment i want to let go already.

i also want to ask, "when exactly is this moment suppose to end?"

time is irrelevant in this situation, even though it's what i think i need to make it through this moment. i fantasize that time will bring me hope, will bring me the relief i am so desperately looking for. it is almost comical to put so much reliance upon time, when it is simply a tool we have created to make sense of the foreign world we find ourselves in. i look upon a tool to provide me what only a virtue can give? now, that's just straight-up silly.

i just need to trust that you weren't lying to me when you reminded me that this is just a moment and it shall soon pass. which shouldn't be hard because how often has 'Abdu'l-Baha lied to anyone? yeah, that's what i thought. learning can be so painfully-obviously-simple.

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