this semester is taking a lot out of me, and pretty much everyone i know. school has become this mundane, slow as molasses thing. very painful for all involved, or at least those of us at UIC...or at least just my group of friends. anyways, i try to look to the future, where this is all taking me. but i look and i look and i vaguely see what is there. where will i be...still in chicago, marquette, ann arbor, urbana...batavia? i'm finding it hard to adapt to not knowing, not being able to place myself in a familiar setting. if i go to one of these places, even if i stay here, where/who will i live with, how will i pay for it, how will i move there?
so i don't know all that, okay (in theory...my stomach and head spin when i think about it). so i can't work on the practicals. that leaves me to work on my self and knowing my self. i guess what i'd call it is internal purging. since the beginning of this semester i've felt lost and confused to where i find myself (sinus infections really take a toll when you let them attack you for two weeks). i start off by looking at what i want in the future and once i decide on one thing (little by little), i sit back and ask myself, "now what do i need to do now in order to be ready for that?" and then i work on it. the time to do this feels right (during the fast, right before the baha'i new year, etc.) and it's been awhile since something has felt just right.
i love the fast, it makes me feel still.
Change your heart
Look around you
Change your heart
It will astound you
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I know exactly what you're going through...and it does get worked out somehow. :-P Small comfort now, I know. But yay for the Fast!
Post a Comment