to answer your question, dooce...

to be a true dork (like myself) you can't just have an embarrassing moment, ye must have embarrassing momentS. here are a few of my most embarrassing momentS:

the first story comes to you from Operation: Prom 2004. it was the friday before prom and my school not only had plastered posters of the risk of drunk driving two feet apart all around the school, they also had an assembly for all the juniors and seniors. an assembly in which an e.r. doctor, e.r. nurse, and police officer came in to talk about their experiences with drunk driving and to show the results and tragides that could happen if you choose to drink and drive on prom. before this assembly i had made it through almost four years of high school without any embarrassing moments that the whole school knew about. i had come so close, so close. it was at this assembly where i sat in the front row, my first mistake. when the doctor started saying, "i know you drink! your parents, you friends, everyone drinks!" i knew whatever his message, it wasn't for me. i don't drink, my parent's don't drink, not everyone drinks. so as i lost interest in his speech i started scanning across the gym for friends, my second mistake. Unfortunately for me, i found karen and riane. first we excitedly waved to each other, like dorks, and then tried to communicate across the gym, like idiots. we were failing at communicating to each other, i thought they were asking me if i was going to their track meet while what they were actually asking me was to run across the gym to go sit with them. naturally, we started laughing at our mis-communication. that was when bryson (sitting to the left of me) whispered, "Anya. Anya! i think he's coming over here." Sure enough the doctor was walking towards me saying, "Excuse me." i didn't hear him the first time. "Excuse me. Are you having trouble hearing me?" I couldn't believe what was happening and i gave out a quiet shameful, "no." When what i really wanted to say was, "i. don't. drink. i'm. not. going. to. prom. i'm only here to get out of class. oh and if it weren't for me, YOU WOULDN'T GET PAID!!*" (*that is in reference to just how many times i have gone to the e.r.) He then went on with his speech as my face turned the reddest of red it has ever turned for the whole other side of the gym to see, for the whole other side of the school to see. i couldn't move for at least five minutes to insure he wasn't still watching me, ready to single me out again.

so for five minutes i had to desperately hold in my laughter (the longest time i have ever had to hold in laughter in my life!). i finally aloud myself to turn to bryson and we just burst into laughter, without smiling still in fear that he would turn and yell at me again. then lucy (sitting to the right of me) turn around and said, "i think he was yelling at us. what the heck?" at first i was like, "yeah, i know." but then i told her what happened and she rolled her eyes and called me a dork. after ten minutes i finally glanced up at riane and karen, who were huddled close together waiting for me to look at them. i had to look down right away, as i started laughing again. for the rest of the day people were coming up to me telling how hilarioulsy funny they thought it was or how they (the people that were sitting behind me who didn't know who he was yelling at) thought he was yelling at them. it seemed that everyone just found it funny and i didn't really feel bad about being rude and not paying attention until i got to fourth block with dr. lebin and she wanted to talk about the assembly. one person across the room, who had sat next to me in another class and who was apart of a group of us talking about the doctor yelling at me, raised there hand and said, "well, i just think that it is really rude for people not to pay attention. i mean, it's fine if you talk a little with the person next to you, but it's rude when people, while someone who our school invited to talk to us, is talking across the room to their friends and then they laugh about it." that. hurt. and a little bit of me felt bad. but then someone behind me asked, "hey, anya did the doctor yell at you?" i gave a sheepish, "yeah." then we started laughing about it. "your face turned so red!"

this next story is just pure embarrassment, where my dad's temper brings out the insanity in me.

you know those beyond annoying parents at sporting events; who sit on the sidelines or in the bleachers, who are constantly yelling at the refs and coaches, who always find something (no matter how trivial) to be outraged about, you know those parents. well, no one (and i mean no. one.) dislikes those parents or spectators more than my father and i. during one of my basketball games during freshman year, there was one of these parents in the crowd. the game was close and when games are close these types of people become more passionate about whatever thing they are complaining about. there were eight seconds left in the game and my coach called a time out. all i could hear was the guy yelling about his nonsense and i guess i just couldn't take it anymore, because right then i looked up at the crowd (of maybe five people, because it was a saturday morning freshman girls basketball game) and yelled at him, "IT'S JUST A FRESHMAN GAME!" my coach, tory, just looked at me in great shock. probably thinking, "anya yells at people?" he didn't know what to do. he just looked at me, bewildered. once the shock wore off, he benched me for the rest of the game (the whole eight seconds left in the game).

this third embarrassing moment has to do with me rushing to caught up with a friend at the movie theater, running into an old lady, losing my balance, and falling to the floor. this was of course, in front of every person waiting in line to get tickets and every person just about to exit the theater. oh wait, it went more like this: losing my balance, falling on top of the red rope lines, falling to the floor, and watching the polls that hold the red ropes fall on top of me. trust me, only a true dork is capable of being able to laugh throughout a whole thing like that.

this fourth story, i'm not telling you. it's just way to0 embarrassing. just know that yes, i have been skiing.