You know your crafting phase has gotten out of control when you neck starts to burn whenever you look down.

I can breath, again. U.I.C. Office of Admissions and Records has been playing with me ever since I got accepted last Febuary. In the last chain of events they sent me a letter stating that my fourty dollar application fee was missing and that I need to send it in as soon as possible before they can complete the processing of my application. They went on to say, "Please have these items sent directly to the Office of Admissions...no later than the application deadline." No later than the application deadline? The application deadline was January 31st and this letter is dated Febuary 2!

Luckily for me, on the deadline date, of January 31st, I called U.I.C. to check the status of my application and was informed about the missing check. When the operator told me this my head went spinning, "missing money? must be sent in with TODAY'S postmark on it or else can't be accepted? call dad. don't have work number. call mom. don't have work number. call home. no one is there--wait suzanne stayed over there last night maybe she's home. must thank operator now and hang up and call home. pray suzanne is still there." it was quite a spin my head went through, let me tell you. Suzanne, my savior, was home and by the end of the day my mom had, "...made sure to watch the postman stamp the letter and to see that it was marked with the correct date." whew, thank God. No really, Thank You God. If I had not called U.I.C. that day, I would be in tears right now. Horrifying, big. unable-to-breath. tears. Well, okay maybe I'm overacting. It's not like U.I.C. was the only university that I applied to this year.

oh, wait.

it was.

The Nerve! Sending me a letter dated Feburary 2nd saying that my missing check must be sent in no later January 31st, after everything I have gone through with this school. I say again, The Nerve! Not to mention the slight anxiety I went through right before opening the letter thinking that it was the accepted/DE-NIED! letter. Only to find that the anxiety was pointless--- quick interuption SESEAME STREET is currently playing on Radio Baha'i this calls for a moments break --- because really the letter was actually informing me that if you want to get in TOO. BAD. it's already past the due date to send in the nessesary things to make your application complete, but we just wanted to give you a heads up of why you failed to get accepted.

I, for one, just don't want to think about it any more.

I, for one, I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO LOOK DOWN!


whew. that was one good vent.

This is where i say i've had enough
And no one should ever feel the way that i feel now.
A walking open wound,
A trophy display of bruises
And i don't believe that i'm getting any better.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
And i'm thinking awful things
And i'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment
Is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

Wandering the house
Like i've never wanted out
And this is about as social as i get now.
And i'm throwing away the letters that i am writing you
'cause they would never do,
I would never do.

And your eyes say the joke's on me.