almost a week here and i have comfortably adjusted. or that is i have become content with my schedule. weird. i was told i easily adjust. i didn't realize how true that was until now. lesson one learned at LGI: some people know me better than i know myself. example my parents. it's okay you can laugh at my past beliefs of "my parents don't know me ." such a typical teenage thought i am embarrassed. so laugh, because i do. so my parents were right louhelen would have been the best place for me to go for my year of service. it's not too far from home, if there weren't any other volunteers there would at least be tons of people coming and going during the weekends, and there is organized structure there where a "little knowledge about the faith even though growing up in the faith" baha'i like me could learn a lot (a lot; not alot. dr. lebin taught me that one...i guess i did learn something in that class that i actually remembered. gasp. shocking.) from. and i'm not going to lie, once realizing this the anxiety of "oh no no no. i should have listened to my parents. i should be at louhelen" and "liza was right. i should have gone to green acre or at least applied" set in.
but as those thoughts flooded my mind the administrator said, "it is a true blessing that you are here. and for a year too! bless you." anxiety started to leave me. the other administrator went on to say, "there is a real competition between schools for volunteers. you know i went to green acre last year and they had 24 volunteers. i mean yeah i know they need more then us, but can't they send some down our way. we are lucky if we get any volunteers for long term. and when we do it's only one at a time and we feel bad for them because it gets so lonely here. we only need about four, you know two guys and two girls. there is so much to do here." anxiety was gone. yes it's true it might have been better for me to go to louhelen but they really need people here. besides doing my own investigation for a bit is what i think i really need.
i ran into my first snake skin here yesterday while running. it scared me greatly and now while walking through the lawn to my very own trailer (with three bedrooms, two baths, a kitchen, and living room all to myself...it's actually really scary and lonely) i know that the snakes are not a myth but they really are the ones making those hissing sounds i hear. i no longer take my time crossing the lawn but walk really really fast. (why not run you ask? run!!?!! i do not run for i risk trippage!! hellooo!) i'm getting rain boots so that i can cross the lawn in more ease like my first days here. (so naive was i back then) oh my goodness just thinking about rain boots makes me feel safe. i. am. getting. rain. boots. as. soon. as. i. can.
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
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8 comments:
Woohoo for Anya being the savior of LGI!! I've already been looking over my schedule to figure out when I can get out there to visit and now I really, really, really want to help out when I come! So... email me and let me know when you'll be back here so that I know not to come then. ha ha -- Don't want to pass each other up somewhere on the highway!
Heather
Good to hear that things seem to be goin' well. You seemed to have quite the trailer. Oh, you now have a series of Maroon5 songs running through my head...:-P
oh yeah..he he
my name...oops...
-Katy
I'm so glad to hear you say all this. There's a really fine balance between doing what we need to do for our own self and doing what needs to be done for the Faith. It sounds like you've gotten it. Years of service are always hard wherever you are. It just kind of depends on what test you want to face. I was so, so, so lonely on my year of service. One day I remember clearly I got up from my bed crying and picked up the phone to get a plane ticket back. I thought about it, put the phone down, said some prayers, and decided to stay. I had some of the most wonderful experiences of my life. By the end of the year I was ready to leave, but this time it wasn't out of loneliness or feeling that it was too hard. I'd just reached a point spiritually where I needed to leave. There was a feeling of completion to it. Kind of like how I'm done with school now. Once we arrived at LGI I could tell they needed you and you would do good things there. We'll keep you in our prayers and keep posting pics of Amia!
Husayn
Oh, and Suzanne's talking about trying to visit if Amia can do it :)
yay!! i love pictures of amia. and a shout out to amia.... no pressure but amia i feel that as my first niece it is your duty to come and visit me. you'd love the ride because once past ohio the speed limit jumps to 70 and i know how you love going fast!! so come on down amia because you could be the first baby cooing on the radio!!!
Hey Anya!
Just wanted to let you know that I set up a new blog (www.rainbow--colors.blogspot.com) and put your blog on it as a link. Hope that's ok! (If not, just drop me an email and I'll take it off...)
Heather
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